Workplace Meltdown
In 2017, I had a very emotional, very public meltdown. At work.
I returned to the office a mere week after ending my marriage. I wasn’t eating properly. I wasn’t sleeping. I was drinking way too much wine. The perfect recipe for a workplace meltdown. And I delivered on that hotmess pie.
The straw that broke [my] the camel’s back that day was a colleague/friend making a very innocent, very unrelated comment. He and I often would discuss food together, what we had for breakfast, what we brought for lunch, etc. It was kind of our thing at work. We were both huge fans of leftovers so we liked to compare notes.
That morning my car wouldn’t start – the ignition seemed to be stuck, or frozen (this was early January), and I ended up calling my old neighbor to pick me up to drive me to work. So on top of sleep deprivation, the wine dinner I’d had the night before, and my frustration with my car, I was now running late for work.
Just as my neighbor pulled into the driveway I realized I hadn’t had breakfast, and didn’t have anything to bring for lunch, either. The only thing I could grab quickly was a can of tuna. That’s it. My entire day, my sanity, and my well-being hinged on this can of tuna holding me together.
So on this morning, arriving a little late, I rushed into the office kitchen where my colleague was standing, preparing his own dish of food, and quietly proceeded to open my can of tuna. I’m sure it was a surprising sight. It was then that I caught him looking at me and then down to my sad can of tuna. He then said, “Is that all you’re having?”
I froze, can opener mid crank. There was a slight pause followed by my face contorting into what Oprah coined as the “ugly cry”. Mortifying!! He looked genuinely taken aback. Our relationship to date had consisted of banter, Seinfeld references and food talk. Definitely not crying.
Just then a few of my female colleagues entered the kitchen and upon seeing my face immediately rushed me into a nearby vacant office. When they realized they couldn’t make much sense of what I was saying, they ran to get our manager.
Luckily for me I had a very understanding boss (who’s still a good friend today). He very quickly escorted me out of the office and somewhere quiet for a coffee and a chat. I managed to get some coherent words out and after about an hour he realized I needed more than just a pep talk and some Kleenex. He drove me back to my friend’s place where I was staying and told me to get some rest and take care of myself.
After several months of healing, when I could appreciate humor again, we’d dubbed that incident as the Tuna Can Meltdown of 2017. I still giggle today when I picture my friend’s face as he’d watched in horror as I broke down, seemingly over a can of tuna.
This story is a clear example of how much harder simple tasks are when we’re not taking care of ourselves. Most of us have a crappy day if we just didn’t sleep well the night before, so add in poor nutrition, alcohol and raw nerves and you’ve got yourself a walking time bomb.
I’ll never forget my boss’ compassion and kindness during that time. He showed true leadership, and in allowing me the space I needed to regroup and do a little healing, the company got a stronger, more resilient, more focused employee.
It’s not just family, children, and friendships that are affected by separation or divorce. Work suffers. And what happens when work suffers? You can jeopardize your income, just when you need it the most. I definitely could not afford to lose my job at that time, mentally or financially.
With a lot of hard work (and therapy), I’ve come out the other side stronger, empowered, and inspired. Now I’m making it my mission to help others on their journey.
A fresh perspective, an action plan, and a person you can trust can make a world of difference. Following divorce or separation, it’s so common to experience a loss of identity and direction, which can severely impact our health, self-esteem, and decision making.
The good news is, we’re not alone.