On my solo trip to Indonesia I did something spontaneous that turned out to be the most healing thing I’ve done to date. 

In 2019 I quit my job, quit my toxic relationship, found a sitter for my new puppy, and jetted off to Indonesia for a two-month re-set on my crumbling, chaotic life. 

For the first two weeks I stayed in Bali where I spent every other day at the beach, and the days in between in my room reading and writing.  

I brought all of the books my therapist, Anne, recommended, as well as a few blank journals. I wrote so much in those journals that I wore out three pens. 

It’s easier to understand grief when the loss is right in front of you. Or rather, it’s easier for others to understand why you’re grieving when they can clearly see what you’re grieving.

But how do you explain the profound grief of shattered perception?  

When I was nearly four and my brother was nearly two, we were put up for adoption by the courts. After nearly four years of neglect and trauma, a judge finally stepped in and took away our mother’s parental rights.

For most of my life I was never truly myself around others. 

I would become who I believed others wanted me to be. My deep-rooted belief that no one would ever love me for me kept me from being authentic and real.

But I had no idea I wasn’t being authentic. I believed I was simply “adapting” to those around me, and adapting to accommodate others is just what a nice girl does, right? 🤔

I swore I’d never get married again.

We’ve all sworn off something at one time or another.

We had a bad experience and it tarnished our outlook.

Maybe it was a relationship that was “one for the [horror] books”, so now you’re never going to date again.

Maybe it was a humiliating experience at the gym, and now you’re canceling your membership.

Junk pushers are everywhere. 

If I’m “oh hungry”, I should grab an Oh Henry.

If I need a break, the BEST way to do that is with a Kitkat.

Even the chips are betting us that we “can’t eat just one”. 

Then there’s pop, telling us their product tastes like our feelings. OUR FEELINGS?!

You’re not going to have a drink? Not even one?? But we’re CELEBRATING! 😫

You really don’t want any cheesecake? What, are you on some kind of diet?? Just one bite…come on!

You’re going to the gym now? But it’s raining and I want to veg on the couch and binge Netflix. Wouldn’t you rather do that?

I feel bad doing it if you’re not going to do it with me. You’re making me feel guilty.

We’re obsessed with romance.

But we’re rendezvousing with the most toxic behaviours and activities.

We need to stop romanticizing behaviour that isn’t serving us.

When we have love affairs with food that cause us harm, it’s toxic. And it’s sending the wrong message to our brain.

OMGGGGGGGGG this cheesecake is to die for! [eyes rolling back into head]

Ooooooohhh this dessert has been CALLING MY NAME!

Mmmmm I just love a crunchy, salty chip.

Who do you want to be? Where do you want to be?

Humor me for a minute. Let’s do a visualization exercise.

You’re 85 years old and you’re sitting on the front porch in your trusty rocking chair. Leisurely watching the birds and the occasional passing car.

Who are you in this moment?

Are you someone who can easily get up from your chair on your own?

Are you someone who’s able to lift your arm to wave at the neighbor’s kid while he rides his bike by?

“Diabetes runs in my family, so it’s only a matter of time before I get it.”

“All the men in my family die in their early 70s, so I know that’s when I’ll die, too.” (This one is an actual quote from my dad, who happens to be turning 70 this year.)

You are not the sum of other people’s experiences, and you are certainly made of more than just your genetics.

Most people are eating wrong.

I don’t mean the wrong foods (although this is often the case, too).

I mean, people don’t know HOW to eat properly.

On average, people are chewing their food about 3-4 times before swallowing.

I’ve had plenty of toxic relationships in my life, but my relationship with food ‘takes the cake’.

The first four years of my life were spent in and out of various foster homes. I was often completely forgotten so I’d go days without human interaction, which meant days without food.

You’re not stuck, you’re scared.

So many people say they feel stuck. And believe it.

Stuck in a loveless marriage. Stuck in a dead-end job. Stuck in the monotony of a routine that is perpetually on loop Every. Single. Day.

But are you stuck in that marriage? Or are you afraid of the alternative?

I’m sure by now everyone has at least heard of this 2011 “adult children’s book” by Adam Mansbach. The audio is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson, and there’s a YouTube video of Jennifer Garner reading it that has over 5M views.

Adults LOVED this book. It was translated into several languages and had reached #1 on Amazon’s bestseller list a whole month before its release date.

Ahhhh Valentine’s Day… ❤️

As a Life Coach, a big part of the work I do consists of helping people reframe their perspectives.

Developing an open mindset is crucial for our healthy development and growth.

Every time someone talked about or suggested intermittent fasting my body would have a physical reaction.

Nope. No way. Out of the question. Preach to someone else.

We can't afford to waste any more time.
I once listened to an interview Brené Brown had done on the topic of what we’ve always known to be called “a midlife crisis”.

We can't afford to waste any more time.
I once listened to an interview Brené Brown had done on the topic of what we’ve always known to be called “a midlife crisis”.

"People leave managers, not companies."

Apparently this is common enough that there's a popular quote about it.

But what's really going on here? Are there really that many "bad" managers?

In 2017, I had a very emotional, very public meltdown. At work.
I returned to the office a mere week after ending my marriage. I wasn’t eating properly. I wasn’t sleeping. I was drinking way too much wine. The perfect recipe for a workplace meltdown. And I delivered on that hotmess pie.

I'm off work for the holidays and I'm looking forward to hanging up my sneakers until the New Year! 🎉
I've heard several people say this. And not just the sneakers, they're hanging up their healthy eating habits entirely and going all in on the holiday eats. 😬