I Should Be Angry

I could be angry. 

I SHOULD be angry. 

And boy do I have a lot to be angry about. 

I should be angry at every person who hurt me as a child. Festering on every injustice and shaking my fist at every adult who didn’t step in, vehemently wishing them a lifetime of hardship. 

I should be angry at my parents for having the audacity to be human instead of doing their one and only job: being perfect parents. 

I should be angry at my tenth grade math teacher for laughing at me in front of the class, while my neck and face filled with red hot shame and my stomach churned with knots. 

I should be angry at the boyfriend who treated me like a possession rather than an equal, belittling me in front of his friends. 

I should be angry at the husband who “tricked” me into marrying him—very quickly—before I could see his true colors. Before I knew what narcissism was and before I could understand that his silent treatments weren’t my fault. 

I should be angry about all of my health issues and how it was my body’s way of “keeping score” of past trauma, coming back to haunt me in the form of autoimmune disease, miscarriage, and cancer.

I should be angry, but I’m not. 

For all the tears I’ve cried from pain, my tears now flow from gratitude. 

I can’t afford to give myself over to anger. If I can’t control it, or change it, I simply can’t give in to it. 

I got tired of dragging around the weight of shame, pain, and resentment. It no longer made sense to me. I will not find peace at the other end of my wrath. 

My peace comes from choosing gratitude for what I have overcome, for what the present offers me, and for any potential future I dare to dream of. 

My peace comes from letting go. 

When I chose healing above all else, I was able to let go of: 

• my resentment

• my contempt

• my need to be right

• my chosen identity as a victim

• my ego

I spent a lifetime angry, scared, frustrated, ashamed, and hurt. Now I choose peace, love, connection, kindness, grace, and joy. 

My happiness isn’t dependent on justice, it’s dependent on MY actions, and MY attitude, and MY ability to choose me. 

I found a way THROUGH—not around, or over, or under—my trauma. I did the work, and the work has led me down the most beautiful path, a path I would have otherwise seen through the lens of thorns and weeds. 

I took the long way, the hard way, but I did it nonetheless. We’re all looking for purpose in this life, and mine became so crystal clear to me in the last several years.

Helping people.

Whether it’s working 1:1 with people, helping them get healthy, get unstuck, get clear on their goals, or whether it’s working with teams in the corporate space, helping prevent burnout so they can thrive, I’m doing what I am meant to be doing.

No one should have to take the long and hard way (as I did), and everyone deserves to live their best life. 

So that’s my mission—being a guide, a support system, offering accountability, and a safe space for people to see challenges as opportunities for growth. 

That’s why I choose peace, and why I choose to let go, and why I choose to look forward. 

My past doesn’t dictate my future, and neither does yours. You can let it go, too. 

I promise, it’ll be okay.