Valentine’s Day: Social Media Smoke and Mirrors

Ahhhh Valentine’s Day… ❤️

As a Life Coach, a big part of the work I do consists of helping people reframe their perspectives.

Developing an open mindset is crucial for our healthy development and growth.

Let’s take Valentine’s Day, for example.

Instagram and Facebook will be buzzing today with pictures of happy couples and chocolates and flowers and so on.

Someone who is uncoupled and feeling lonely is likely going to have some feelings about all the images and declarations of undying love they’re seeing in their feed.

It’s so easy to scroll and scroll and BELIEVE everything you’re seeing.

“Everyone else is so happy and I’m alone.”

“I’m not good enough because I have no one to share this day with.”

“If my ex hadn’t been such a #$@!% I wouldn’t be alone today.”

Whatever you’re feeling about today, any negative thoughts, you’re not alone and you’re not wrong.

It’s not about being right or wrong, it’s about expanding your mind to include other thoughts that can also be true.

When you’re caught up in a deep-dive scrolling binge it’s like an avalanche of information that your brain can’t process fully, so your negative thoughts continue to compound.

Other thoughts to consider when seeing people so happy and celebratory on social media today:

Maybe this is the one day a year where their partner gives them flowers or gestures of romance.

Maybe they are smiling for the camera but behind the scenes they're actually pretty lonely.

Maybe they are genuinely in a happy, amazing relationship now, but their last relationship was awful and traumatic. So now they’ve finally found peace and happiness. 

When we expand our thinking it helps us understand things aren’t always as they seem – especially on social media – and so it also makes our initial statements less true, eg. “Everyone else is so happy and I’m alone.”

Something I’d heard just the other day that has really stuck with me is a quote I’d heard from Mel Robbins, “You’re not spending time BY yourself, you’re spending time WITH yourself.” 🤯

Spending time alone isn’t a bad thing. Your thoughts can absolutely make it a bad thing, but luckily you can shift your thoughts in the other direction, too.

Whatever your situation today, the one person you can always rely on to change your mood and your thoughts is YOU.

Don’t let your relationship status on ONE day define your life status. And for the love of all things, stay off of social media today if you’re feeling any kind of sad or lonely.

Be kind to yourself and, if all else fails, buy yourself some damn flowers and [dark] chocolates. 💝

P.S. Those treats will be 50% off tomorrow. 😉