Fasting & Curing My Hunger Phobia
Every time someone talked about or suggested intermittent fasting my body would have a physical reaction.
Nope. No way. Out of the question. Preach to someone else.
I had decided the only exception to my rule would be if I had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I’d watched a documentary a while back on fasting and saw several cases where terminal people completely cured themselves of cancer. (It may have been an episode on the 2020 Netflix show “(Un)well”.)
So, if I’m such a huge health nut, and extremely open-minded when it comes to exploring all possible ways of doing things, why have I historically been against fasting personally?
I have lived with self-diagnosed hunger phobia my entire life, stemming from early childhood.
The first four years of my life were spent shuffling between my neglectful home and various foster homes. I don’t remember much about the foster homes, but I distinctly remember the times I was with my birth mother.
In those early years there were several occasions when I would go 2-3 days without any food. After being adopted at the age of four and having access to three meals a day, I went crazy with the portions. When it wasn’t mealtime I would sneak into the fridge or cupboards to snack on anything I could get my hands on.
It was ingrained in me early on that food was for survival, literally. As the years went by and the meals appeared to be consistent, there still remained this subconscious belief that there may not be a next meal. My rational brain knew what was up, but my three year old brain was still in there and remained in fight or flight.
Throughout my 20s and into my early 30s I continued to be very food-focused, although I didn’t realize it. Looking back now I can clearly see the dysfunction. I didn’t wait to be hungry to eat, I simply waited to feel less full to eat more.
I recognize now that there was so much panic around the feeling of hunger. If I couldn’t eat at the onset of hunger – like if I was in the middle of class or at work, or somewhere I didn’t have access to food – I could feel the panic welling up in my chest. Thoughts of food and eating would consume me.
We’ve all heard the term “hangry” (becoming so hungry you get angry), but this isn’t what I would experience. I would become quiet, timid. If I were to give it a cute name I’d call it “halarmed” (hungry = alarmed) or “hanxiety” (hungry = anxiety). But to be clear, there is nothing cute about it.
Now that I’m in my early 40s I’m faced with a new situation. My body is changing and everything I’d previously done (working out 5-7 days a week, eating healthy, managing my [mental] stress) isn’t quite doing the trick anymore. Plus, my sleep has become sporadically disrupted, and for no apparent reason.
Except there is an explanation for all of this: my hormones are changing as I’m aging. Cortisol, the stress hormone, actually increases as estrogen levels decrease. And what delightful side effect happens when you have too much cortisol? Belly fat. Dammit.
When I start to learn new information I become a dog with a bone. And everything I was reading seemed to have one major, consistent “fix”. Intermittent fasting. Nooooooooo.
Okay, if this is such an amazing, natural remedy for gut health, then I’d better get to work figuring it all out (while managing my “halarmed” brain). And that’s just what I did.
Among many resources, a book that stood out to me was “I’m So Effing Hungry” by Dr. Amy Shah. Mel Robbins had her on her podcast, which is how I found out about her, and the podcast episode I listened to was exactly what my brain needed to absorb. I immediately ordered two of her books (the second one is “I’m So Effing Tired”, which really gets into how hormones play a role in so much of our health).
Listening to the audiobook “I’m So Effing Hungry” each morning was such a game changer for me. I highly recommend you get it IMMEDIATELY if you’re looking to understand your own gut health.
Something she talks about, in very simple language, is how we all know that we need sleep because it’s crucial for our body’s repair and regeneration, and equally important is how sleep benefits our brain function and mental health. Basically, we have to rest our brains and bodies in order for them to do their natural healing thing.
Well, there are microbiomes in the gut (bacteria, viruses, fungi, and other microscopic living things) that are crucial for digestion, immune function, and even influence mood and behavior. As important as sleeping at night, we need to allow these microbiomes to rest.
On average, in our society, we eat for 16 hours of the day. Basically, from the time we wake up until the time we go to sleep. Yikes! Our microbiomes need at least 12 consecutive hours of rest to fully do their job properly. So this is where intermittent fasting comes in.
Our gut health plays a HUGE role in our overall health, and so many people either don’t know it or they don’t fully believe it. And that’s okay! There is so much misinformation and information overload happening today, and so many questionable sources. It’s nerve wracking!
If you need a gut health reset, I strongly recommend you do your due diligence in checking proper, reputable sources. Preferably someone with a medical degree and a current, well-respected practice. You also need to be open-minded and willing to take the advice given.
So back to me and how this “new” information has cured my hunger phobia.
Okay, cured is a strong word, but it’s pretty darn close. Understanding that my phobia is primarily in my head and that I can control the narrative was a good place for me to start. And being a huge fan of science doesn’t hurt.
I created an intermittent fasting schedule for myself. On the days I do a full workout (every other day) I fast for 12-14 hours – from suppertime to morning. On the days in between when I only walk on the treadmill, I fast for 14-16 hours. It sounds like a long time, but remember I’m sleeping for 8 of those hours.
When I start to feel hungry – which I am as I write this – I calm the panic by reminding myself that my hunger is a signal that my gut is getting some much needed zzz’s so that it can repair itself from the previous day’s hard work, i.e. breaking down and processing all the food I ate.
I’ve been doing this now for just over a month and I’m already seeing and feeling the benefits. At the same time, I slowed down my workout schedule (as noted above) because, among all the other things I’d learned, the intense workouts were raising my cortisol levels and causing extra belly fat. No thank you.
Just like the other necessary changes in my life I’ve had to come to terms with, believing that hunger is not a horrible thing has had its mental challenges. But each day it gets easier and easier, and seeing such positive results is a huge motivator.
I’m willing to do whatever it takes when it comes to my health. We all should be putting our health first, above all else. Many would argue that they would put their kids first, but how can you be there for your kids if you’re unwell, or worse… One of my favorite quotes of 2023 (author unknown) was “You say you’d die for your kids, but would you live for them?”
If you take anything away from this story, I hope it’s that your gut health is just as important as your physical and mental health. Our brain, body, AND gut need rest.
Take it from a self-diagnosed hunger-phobic, you can absolutely do things that feel hard and uncomfortable in the name of good health. You deserve to live long AND well.
*Disclaimer: I do not coach on intermittent fasting and I am not promoting here that anyone engage in intermittent fasting. This blog post is about my personal journey and the only thing I do recommend is that you conduct your own research if/when you decide you’d like to try something like this. If you are diabetic, suffer from eating disorders, or have any other health issues you should consult with your primary care provider before embarking on any kind of diet/lifestyle changes that can impact your health.