Boundaries & Resisting Societal Pressures
You’re not going to have a drink? Not even one?? But we’re CELEBRATING! 😫
You really don’t want any cheesecake? What, are you on some kind of diet?? Just one bite…come on!
You’re going to the gym now? But it’s raining and I want to veg on the couch and binge Netflix. Wouldn’t you rather do that?
I feel bad doing it if you’re not going to do it with me. You’re making me feel guilty.
First. Of. All.
If you’re the one wanting to do the thing and you feel disappointed someone isn’t going to do the thing with you, that’s completely your choice to feel that way.
No one MAKES you feel guilty.
Whatever you’re telling yourself [about binging food or sitting on the couch or not working out, etc.] is what you’re going to believe.
If you feel guilty about whatever activity you’re wanting to do, maybe take a beat and unpack some of that. Why do you feel that way? What are you getting out of that activity? What are the consequences of doing that activity?
Second. Of. All.
If you’re the one on the receiving end of that “peer pressure”, you have choices, too.
Many of us give in because it’s easier than resisting. It’s easier than potentially causing friction. It’s easier than spending minutes explaining our position to someone.
It’s easier than “hurting someone’s feelings”.
*Side note: we are all responsible for our own feelings, which are essentially caused by our thoughts.
But there is an easier way to stay true to you.
Boundaries.
They feel icky at first, but I promise they get easier.
Your boundaries are for your protection. Period.
Without them you end up eating the cheesecake that hurts your stomach afterwards.
Without them you end up binging Netflix and feeling crappy the rest of the day.
Without them you have the drink that you swore to yourself you wouldn’t have.
Without them you disappoint yourself. Oooofff! 😬
“No thanks, I’m not drinking these days.”
“No thanks, cheesecake doesn’t agree with my stomach.”
“No thanks, enjoy your TV time and I’ll see you in a bit.”
No further explanation required. We can be firm without being harsh.
Sacrificing our boundaries is a slow, painful burn. Eventually we feel completely burnt out without having noticed the embers that had been sizzling the whole time.
You don’t need to negotiate your choices.
There will be people around you who feel uncomfortable with your healthy choices.
Why?
Because they know deep down they could be making healthier choices, too, but they aren’t ready to face it.
We all move at different paces. When you're ready, you'll know it.
You do you, and let everyone else figure it out on their own timeline. ✌ 💕